Does God Hate Even A Scriptural Divorce?

It is NOT the teaching of Christ that if our spouse cheats on us sexually that we should try to reconcile – necessarily. Both Matt 5:32 and 19:9 give us the option of putting our spouse away under such scenario. And Jesus makes it very clear in Matt 5:32 that if our spouse commits fornication and we divorce them for that fornication, we do not cause (are not held responsible for) any subsequent sexual sin on their part. So we shouldn’t frown upon those who take advantage of that option.

It is not always required to reconcile even if the guilty party repents. We certainly have to forgive them if they say they repent (Luke 17:3-4). Even if they commit adultery 490 times (Matt 18:21-22) we must forgive them if they repent, but that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we have to take them back. It might be time to divorce them if they cheat on you 490 times, you think?

Many times sin results in physical consequences even after repentance. Illustration: I understand Jeffrey Dahmer (serial killer and cannibal) repented and was baptized for the remission of sins while in prison, but the forgiveness he received at that point didn’t mean he was taken off death row. And even if some think there would be more of a chance Jeffrey would remain faithful to God outside of prison, nobody thinks that fact would justify letting him out of prison. I Cor 7:16 – “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?”

I can think of at least a couple of reasons it might be best to go ahead and divorce a cheating spouse. One – for the same reason just about every father would counsel his daughter to break off an engagement if her fiancé starts cheating on her sexually while they are engaged – to avoid future ruinous spiritual heartache. And two – because if you don’t divorce them, then they might divorce you, and in that case you would be stuck single for perhaps the rest of your life (Matt 5:32b, Matt 19:9b, Luke 16:18b). Most lose their souls when they get put in that forced celibacy situation; it is a very hard row to hoe – Matt 19:11-12.

Bottom line is Jesus gave a person an option to divorce their spouse if they commit fornication, and so that is the way we ought to teach and counsel it – it is the innocent party’s choice. So we shouldn’t try to make someone feel guilty if they take that option. Repentance on the part of the guilty party is never going to be the only factor that should be considered by a wise Christian when making this decision. For example, suppose your son-in-law repents of his adultery, but doesn’t repent of beating your daughter: she would have to stay married to him if whether or not he repents of his adultery is the only factor to consider.

Mal 2:16 is not talking about scriptural divorces when it says God “hateth putting away” (any action that God hates is a sin [Prov 6:16–19] and requires repentance – in this case repentance would require reconciliation after a scriptural divorce). Instead, Mal 2:16 is stating the general no divorce rule (in absence of exception) just like Luke 16:18, Mark 10:11,12 Rom 7:2-3, I Cor 7:10, and Matt 19:6.

following are Brent Siota’s Facebook comments about my above article …

Some additional thoughts below on the OT statement in Malachi 2:16 “…he hateth putting away…” As you noted in your article, Malachi 2:16 states a general rule (as does Luke 16:18) – and God hates sin (e.g. Proverbs 6:16-19).

• Though it is obviously true God hates the sin of adultery leading up to a divorce for adultery, the words of Malachi 2:16 say he hates “putting away”, not “what leads up to putting away.”

• The context of Malachi 2:16 describes an action of divorce that is “treachery” (i.e. 2:14 – “against whom thou has dealt treacherously”, 2:15 – “let none deal treacherously against the wife…”, 2:16 – “…that ye deal not treacherously.”). Would anyone say that a divorce for adultery is “treachery”?

• The rest of the sentence in Malachi 2:16 amplifies his statement about what God hates: “…he hateth putting away: FOR one covereth violence with his garment…deal not treacherously.” The “putting away” they were doing in verse 16 was “violence.” Is a divorce for adultery “violence”?

I would say God hates the divorce of Luke 16:18 (sin), but not the divorce for adultery in Matthew 19:9 – a divorce for adultery is an action in the name of the Lord (Colossians 3:17).